This is what I mean.
How should I redecorate my room > Then again, is it very necessary? I'm only gonna be here for 4 more years before I leave for America. > But 4 years is a long time > No it isn't it seems to be but time will fly > But I wonder what would it be like in America, I'm going to spend a while there. > Time will fly so much > What if I end up living there? > Why does everything suddenly seem so temporary? > I'm scared > I'm going to miss everyone here in Malaysia so much. > Would they miss me back? > Would I even still be friends with them? > Do I really want to expand my horizons that much? > Of course I do who the hell doesn't? > No I don't I'm perfectly comfortable here > What the hell am I telling myself people would die for opportunities like this > But everyone..
Yeah, see how a simple thought could lead to a catastrophe of over thinking. Then again which leads me to think about me going to America.
Being a tumblr user, I see posts everywhere about living outside of your comfort zone because that's when life really begins but honestly, I am quite afraid. Which should be perfectly normal but it's to the extend I might not wanna go there. I love the way things are now but yet I wanna explore and see what the world has yet to offer. Most afraid, I am, is of losing the people who mean the world to me right now. Then I start realizing how everything is so, temporary. I think now what I may most be afraid of is "temporariness", quite like how Augustus Waters of TFIOS written by John Green fears oblivion. Moving on, yes. Everything seems so temporary and it terrifies me to think that way. I imagine myself going on with life so well in American but then I look back, to my high school days realizing, I wouldn't longer have time to go back & reminisce with them. Everyone would've moved on with their separate lives.
Or maybe I just think and care too much.
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